Mar. 21st, 2014

transemacabre: (Rose Red)
If you're a native New Yorker or just a wannabe, check out my friend John Powers' reinterpretation of Jay-Z's classic ode to NYC, "Empire State of Meh".



I was not born and raised in New York City, but I've lived here for four years. Here's a few things the songs and movies never prepare you for:

1. When you can doze off on the train and wake up just in time for your stop.
2. The reason you NEVER get in the empty subway car. Just, don't.
3. Peeing every time you happen to find a public bathroom, because it could be HOURS before you locate another one. Like, even if all you can muster is a trickle, you try to pee anyway.
4. Long distance relationship: When you live in Flushing and he lives on Staten Island.
5. You know the city has broken your friends when they decamp to Hoboken. /shudder
6. JLO walks past you in Times Square and your only reaction is to be pissed because her entourage is blocking the damn sidewalk and you HATE having to walk through Times Square as it is! (true story)
7. A tourist carelessly steps on your foot while walking backwards to gawk at the buildings. You yell at him, he facetiously says "I love you!" and you flip him double-birds and say, "Fuck you!" (also a true story)
8. Your oven is used as a storage closet.
9. You've seen hookers race each other to a limo.

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