transemacabre (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
transemacabre) wrote2014-02-24 09:50 pm
transemacabre) wrote2014-02-24 09:50 pm
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Summer Blockbuster Fandom Wank Predictions: MCU edition
Using my mutant power of clairvoyance, I bring you the fannish bitching, arguing, and wild accusations of wrongdoing sure to bedevil us all on lj and tumblr as soon as Captain America: The Winter Soldier and Guardians of the Galaxy are released.
-- Bucky/Steve shippers vs. Sam/Steve shippers, with the Steve/Tony shippers on the sidelines. We might even get bizzaro-world-logic meta about which ship is more Social Justice-approved. "If you don't ship Sam/Steve, you're a racist!" "If you don't ship Bucky/Steve, you're ableist!" Both sides will come out looking fucking terrible.
-- Lee Pace as Ronan the Accuser is going to be the next Loki. Calling it now.
-- Holy shit, what if the rumors about Groot being a smokescreen to hide Vin Diesel playing Thanos aren't true? What if Bradley Cooper is playing Thanos, and him voicing Rocket Raccoon is the smokescreen for that? Cue Marvel fandom melting down.
-- There will be a contingent of Sharon fans who will be butthurt over Natasha getting a movie and not Sharon. Some Natasha fans will be nasty back, and no good will come of this. Pleas for us all to get along will be ignored.
-- Those unfortunates who come out of Captain America 2 shipping Steve/Natasha will get it from EVERY quarter -- Steve/Tony fans, Sam/Steve fans, Bucky/Steve fans, Steve/Sharon fans, and Clint/Natasha fans. Accusations of hetbaiting and queer-erasure are flung around.
-- Furious tumblr meta about how the POC actors in Guardians of the Galaxy are all covered in makeup/paint/prosthetics and how this is erasure, exoticism, and "othering". If you check their fic, these same people will write nothing other than Peter Quill/Ronan, no matter how unlikely or unsupported such a pairing might be.
-- There will also be earnest meta about how the alien races in GoTG map onto real human races, using their Sociology 101-cred to stretch their analogies about colonialism and imperialism to the breaking point.
-- The GoTG fic on A03 with the most kudos will be generic coffee shop/university AUs where, like, Thanos is the evil dean or something.
-- Bucky/Steve shippers vs. Sam/Steve shippers, with the Steve/Tony shippers on the sidelines. We might even get bizzaro-world-logic meta about which ship is more Social Justice-approved. "If you don't ship Sam/Steve, you're a racist!" "If you don't ship Bucky/Steve, you're ableist!" Both sides will come out looking fucking terrible.
-- Lee Pace as Ronan the Accuser is going to be the next Loki. Calling it now.
-- Holy shit, what if the rumors about Groot being a smokescreen to hide Vin Diesel playing Thanos aren't true? What if Bradley Cooper is playing Thanos, and him voicing Rocket Raccoon is the smokescreen for that? Cue Marvel fandom melting down.
-- There will be a contingent of Sharon fans who will be butthurt over Natasha getting a movie and not Sharon. Some Natasha fans will be nasty back, and no good will come of this. Pleas for us all to get along will be ignored.
-- Those unfortunates who come out of Captain America 2 shipping Steve/Natasha will get it from EVERY quarter -- Steve/Tony fans, Sam/Steve fans, Bucky/Steve fans, Steve/Sharon fans, and Clint/Natasha fans. Accusations of hetbaiting and queer-erasure are flung around.
-- Furious tumblr meta about how the POC actors in Guardians of the Galaxy are all covered in makeup/paint/prosthetics and how this is erasure, exoticism, and "othering". If you check their fic, these same people will write nothing other than Peter Quill/Ronan, no matter how unlikely or unsupported such a pairing might be.
-- There will also be earnest meta about how the alien races in GoTG map onto real human races, using their Sociology 101-cred to stretch their analogies about colonialism and imperialism to the breaking point.
-- The GoTG fic on A03 with the most kudos will be generic coffee shop/university AUs where, like, Thanos is the evil dean or something.
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...also, I really want to see both of these movies now!
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As soon as Lee Pace was cast as Ronan, I suspected he was going to be the next big fan favorite. Conventionally attractive actor, juuuust enough blue paint on him to look exotic, aggressive/sexy villain or anti-villain character. That's fannish catnip.
I got a good chuckle out of someone's idea on fail-fandomanon that there will be wank about Natasha's hair. People will get self-righteous and SJ-y about the curls being gone. "Ethnic Russians" will be brought up, grainy b&w photos of Russians from like the early 20th century will be posted on tumblr to prove that Natasha is being whitewashed somehow by flat-ironing her hair. Someone will point out that ScarJo's mother's family is from Minsk, and wank will be had when someone else insists that "doesn't count" because ScarJo's mom's family is Jewish. Wank wank wank.
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/fandom dinosaur who enjoyed fic when it was just supposed to be fucking fun without all of the issues
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I love fandom, but I also LOVE mocking fandoms and its proclivities. Seriously, every time the "next big thing" comes along and stirs up the hornet's nest, I pop myself some popcorn, sit back, and get comfy.
SJWs are fun to mock, but aren't nearly as fun as ye olde days of BNF wank. You know, Cassie Claire and her ilk, who acted like their flist was a salon of pre-Revolutionary France and conducted whisper campaigns against their frenemies. Now when BNF wank exploded, it could take a whole fandom down with it!