I've seen this sort of sentiment in various fannish places, but most recently and most persistently on fandomsecrets
, a number of statements that all follow a set pattern:I know that as a bisexual/POC/disabled/bipolar/whatever person, I should like X, but secretly I don't...
I think most recently I've seen this on FS as "I know that since I'm bipolar, I'm supposed to like Emilie Autumn, but I can't stand her." Now quite apart from whether or not you happen to like EA (I adore her music, and consider myself a fan; that doesn't mean I approve of everything she says or does), I'm completely befuddled by this idea that there's anything that we're supposed
to like or appreciate, based on whatever feature or circumstance in our lives, just because SOME people who happen to share that feature or circumstance like that particular thing.
I mean, so far as I'm aware, there's no manual on how to be a 'proper' bisexual, or an exam you must pass on what it takes to be a 'real woman', or anything of that ilk. Where did this concept even come from, of feeling inadequate because you don't like X, Y, or Z? Shouldn't we have the power and the freedom to fucking like something or not? Isn't that part of being a fully realized person, to make your own choices and judge something for yourself? There's still not, to the best of my knowledge, some foaming-at-the-mouth fannish militia composed of crazies going door-to-door beating up people for not liking the 'right' things (honestly, they're all too busy dating Snape on the astral plane). There's no manifesto on how to be a POC/asexual/deaf/etc. in fandom, and it'd be spectacularly presumptuous of someone to write one and think they speak for everyone. I think what makes me saddest in the FS examples is that the secret-makers obviously feel bad enough about it to want to keep their feelings secret, but inadequate enough about it to need to express those feelings, somehow.
It makes me think of something I see everyday, more so now that I've been living in NYC: women who seem hesitant to make a STATEMENT about anything, so that while talking about even the most inane subjects, they must pitch their sentences to make a statement sound like a question. "So I went to the store~? And I bought some milk~? And Tom called me~? And was like shocked~?" It's like they're waiting for the universe to agree with them, to tell them what they're saying is correct, when all they're doing is just making a simple sentence about their day! It's okay to make something into a statement. It's okay to just plain not like Emilie Autumn, if that's your prerogative, and it's okay to be bipolar and not like EA. There's no list of requirements you have to fulfil! Like something or don't like it, or be 'meh' about it, it's fine, but don't let it eat you up!