philbrooksismine

I have discovered what is possibly the greatest fangirl/troll blog ever: http://philbrooksismine.tumblr.com

Written by a purportedly 19-year-old Polish CM Punk fangirl (Phil Brooks being Punky's birth name), this blog is a surrealist masterpiece of Dracula-esque malapropisms and increasingly over-the-top declarations of love for CM Punk. What gets me is the enraged mail she gets from disturbed wrestling fans saying things like "What is wrong with you? Leave Punky alone!. Can y'all not not see that this is art?

Behold.

An understated symbol of what Punk does to her

Their 'love story', Twilight style. And hey, it's STILL better than Twilight.

Her genius list of 5 things she'd change if she was in charge of the WWE:

1. tell Cm Punk if he eat me out i will reinstate the Ice Cram bar
2. have the lunch lady put a Ketchup on my pussy and give cm punk some frency fry to dip
3. force cm punk to my office every morning, reporting to fuck
4. make cm punk the COEO of COCK
5. cuddle with punky after every match <3