If I were famous...

If I got famous somehow, I would totally be the WORST famous person EVER. I know myself and I know there's no way I could resist. I'd fuck with my fangirls' heads, troll for hookups on Twitter, and just be a giant bitch. How do most celebrities resist the temptation to troll the shit out of their fandom?

On a not entirely-unrelated tangent, I showed a picture of CM Punk to my friend.

HER: Ewwww.
ME: Ewwww!? How can you say that! He's my dream man!
HER: Jessica, he looks like a guy who steals cars.
ME: I know, he's so hot!

Whatever, her type is '50-year-old British author', so I don't get how she can criticize my taste in men. Seriously, if he's old enough to be her dad and wears a lot of tweed, she will be all over that dick. I personally think my thing for rock stars/pro wrestlers is totally sane in comparison. /feels superior