The Maelstrom's Cup, chapter 4 (WWE fanfic)

Title: The Maelstrom's Cup
Fandom: Wrestling
Pairing: Jon Moxley/Tyler Black (aka Dean Ambrose/Seth Rollins)
Rating: M for Mature
Warnings: Sexual content, some violence, references to abuse, and other adult themes some readers may find disturbing. Also, as always, all characters herein are intended to be FICTIONAL and are not identical to the real wrestlers portraying them and have no bearing on their real lives/personalities. Capiche?
Summary: In a 2006 that never was, Tyler Black encounters Jon Moxley in Puerto Rico.

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Lucy Lawless joins Agents of SHIELD!

Queen Lucy has signed on to a role with Marvel's Agents of SHIELD. She will probably be playing a Mary Sue crafted from Joss Whedon's masturbatory fantasies, but allow me to indulge my hope for a minute that she will instead be playing Contessa Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, a spy and Nick Fury's long-time love interest. My first choice for Contessa is Monica Belluci, but if we cannot have her, then Lawless is more than acceptable.



I also demand that Agents of SHIELD recreate this iconic Nick Fury moment on the show, with Samuel L. Jackson and Lucy Lawless. Every element about this image is priceless.

-- unconscious white woman on the floor
-- shirtless Nick Fury
-- shirtless Nick Fury riding a jet-propelled motorcycle
-- shirtless Nick Fury riding a jet-propelled motorcycle, firing with a gun in each hand while smoking a cigar

This would be the most compelling moment of television ever.