Captain America: Everyone I love is dead (Marvelfic)

[transemacabre]

CAPTAIN AMERICA: *sob* Oh, Sharon! I still can't believe you're gone!

WINTER SOLDIER: Cheer up, Cap! Sharon Carter may have bit the big one, but I, Bucky, your faithful sidekick, have returned! And I'm SEXY! And TORTURED!

CAPTAIN AMERICA: *hiccups* *lower lip trembles*

WINTER SOLDIER and CAPTAIN AMERICA: *make out*

FALCON: Yo yo yo! Shorties! Wuz up! We got some serious jive turkey up in here! We need to drink some forties!

WINTER SOLDIER and CAPTAIN AMERICA: seperate with a *pop*

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Sam, what are you talking about? I can't understand anything you just said.

FALCON: When I open up my mouth my grill gleamin'!

CAPTAIN AMERICA: ????

FALCON: Fuck tha police! Straight outta COMPTON!

CAPTAIN AMERICA and FALCON: *make out*

WINTER SOLDIER: *mutters* Yeah! Fuck the police!

SPIDER-MAN: Cap, I've come back from the dead too! And I ate some dude's EYEBALL! And I think Tony Stark wants me to have his babies. What should I do?

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Oh Peter, you poor thing! You've been MISLED and MANIPULATED!

CAPTAIN AMERICA and SPIDER-MAN: *make out*

HAWKEYE: Cap, you ******! You gave my codename away to that chick from the Young Avengers! How could you do that to me!

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Clint, you're alive! I... I can't believe it!

CAPTAIN AMERICA and HAWKEYE: *make out*

FALCON: Uh uh uh uh! Domino, motherfucka!

BARON ZEMO: America! I died as well, but now I'm back with a new body and a face that doesn't look like hamburger! Now at the moment of my greatest success, I see your team in shambles, all your loved ones dead or broken. Now at last you know the agony of defeat. Let me drink your TEARS! Your TEARS!

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Zemo! My nefarious enemy! You... you sacrificed yourself for me!

CAPTAIN AMERICA and BARON ZEMO: *make out*

WINTER SOLDIER: Start a revolution! Workers unite!

GENIS-VELL: Whew, well at least by now I'm used to dying. What did I miss?

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Lega-Captain Mar-Pho-uh, Genis! I didn't really know you! But you've returned from the dead! We should make out!

GENIS-VELL: *grins* Ah, sweet!

CAPTAIN AMERICA and GENIS-VELL: *make out*

FALCON: Yeeeaaaah, BOY!

IRON MAN: Hey, Cap, I'm pretty sure I, uh, died a couple of times, too.

CAPTAIN AMERICA: Tony! Our IDEOLOGICAL DIFFERENCES nearly drove us apart! But nothing can stand in the way of TRUE FRIENDSHIP!

CAPTAIN AMERICA and IRON MAN: *make out*

GENIS-VELL: My new codename is Captain Marvel Junior! Yeah, that's the ticket!

HAWKEYE: And I'm, uh, Arsenal. Got a nice ring to it, doesn't it?

WINTER SOLDIER: Capitalism is slavery!

FALCON: It's hard out there for a pimp! When all them bitches talkin' shit!

SPIDER-MAN: Wow, my ass looks great. Seriously, don't I have a sweet ass?

CAPTAIN AMERICA and IRON MAN: *still making out*