transemacabre | Matthew Lewis' The Monk

I started reading The Monk (which is available for free on Project Gutenberg) on long subway rides about a week ago, after finding out that this book is one of the prototypical Gothic bodice-rippers. Having finished it, I am overcome with the desire to direct a classy, big-budget porno about it.

Imagine! A young, handsome priest tormented by his illicit desires for a beguiling woman who has disguised herself as a boy to join his monastery and seduce him! What part of that is not supposed to be a wild turn-on? The Ambrosio/Matilda sex scenes in the book verge on porn as it is. You could add in a few more sex scenes to make it a proper porno -- hey, Don Raymond and Agnes had to conceive that baby somehow. Maybe up the debauchery in the nun procession towards the end. It's even got (unintentional) brother/sister incest to arouse the kinksters. Find a crumbling monastery somewhere that's hard enough up for money to let a porno shoot there, and raid The Borgias costume bin and we'd have a hit!