RIP Justinian II (c.668-711)
Mar. 26th, 2013 10:07 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
transemacabreI'm embarrased to admit that I missed the 1,302nd anniversary of the death of arguably the most badass Roman/Byzantine emperor of them all, Justinian II, this past December. Well, it's the thought that counts.
Unfairly overshadowed by Justinian I (who is very notable but for very different reasons), Justinian II was an individual of particular talents, which may be summarized in a Wikipedia way, or the Badass of the Week way (btw, yours truly suggested his inclusion to the BotW staff, who immediately said "YES MA'AM WE WILL GET ON THAT"):
Justinian II (Greek: Ιουστινιανός Β΄, Ioustinianos II, Latin: Justinianus II) (669 – 11 December 711), surnamed the Rhinotmetos or Rhinotmetus (ὁ Ῥινότμητος, "the slit-nosed"), was the last Byzantine Emperor of the Heraclian Dynasty, reigning from 685 to 695 and again from 705 to 711. Justinian II was an ambitious and passionate ruler who was keen to restore the Empire to its former glories, but he responded poorly to any opposition to his will and lacked the finesse of his father, Constantine IV.[1] Consequently, he generated enormous opposition to his reign, and it resulted in his deposition in 695 in a popular uprising, and he only returned to the throne in 705 with the help of a Bulgar and Slav army. His second reign was even more despotic than the first, and it too saw his eventual overthrow in 711, abandoned by his army who turned on him before killing him. -- Wikipedia.
Emperor Justinian II of Byzantium wasn't a brilliant military strategist, a capable ruler, a benevolent dictator, or even a fucking half-decent human being. He was a ruthless, merciless motherfucker who crushed all who opposed him, brutally eliminated his enemies, and let nothing stand in the way of his insane, over-the-top, possibly-misguided mission to stomp the lower intestines of anybody ballsy enough to think they could screw with him for any reason. His entire existence was dedicated to one incredibly badass mission: Live for Revenge -- Badass of the Week.
What you may have gathered from these is that Justinian II was in no way a lovable human being, but he most definitely deserves his props, if only because if you were foolhardy enough to screw with him, Justinian II would FUCK YOU UP. It wouldn't matter how far you exiled him, how hideously you mutiliated him, or how many assassins you sent after him, he would hunt you down and FUCK YOU UP. All you could hope was that you died of natural causes in the intervening time period, because Justinian II was utterly without mercy, and even IF you died before he could get his hands on you, he'd probably fuck up your wife, your kids, your homies, your college roommate, your neighbors, and anyone else that got in his way. I think we should all appreciate that level of dedication to badassery, and MARVEL BEFORE HIS BEHEMOTH DICK.
Unfairly overshadowed by Justinian I (who is very notable but for very different reasons), Justinian II was an individual of particular talents, which may be summarized in a Wikipedia way, or the Badass of the Week way (btw, yours truly suggested his inclusion to the BotW staff, who immediately said "YES MA'AM WE WILL GET ON THAT"):
Justinian II (Greek: Ιουστινιανός Β΄, Ioustinianos II, Latin: Justinianus II) (669 – 11 December 711), surnamed the Rhinotmetos or Rhinotmetus (ὁ Ῥινότμητος, "the slit-nosed"), was the last Byzantine Emperor of the Heraclian Dynasty, reigning from 685 to 695 and again from 705 to 711. Justinian II was an ambitious and passionate ruler who was keen to restore the Empire to its former glories, but he responded poorly to any opposition to his will and lacked the finesse of his father, Constantine IV.[1] Consequently, he generated enormous opposition to his reign, and it resulted in his deposition in 695 in a popular uprising, and he only returned to the throne in 705 with the help of a Bulgar and Slav army. His second reign was even more despotic than the first, and it too saw his eventual overthrow in 711, abandoned by his army who turned on him before killing him. -- Wikipedia.
Emperor Justinian II of Byzantium wasn't a brilliant military strategist, a capable ruler, a benevolent dictator, or even a fucking half-decent human being. He was a ruthless, merciless motherfucker who crushed all who opposed him, brutally eliminated his enemies, and let nothing stand in the way of his insane, over-the-top, possibly-misguided mission to stomp the lower intestines of anybody ballsy enough to think they could screw with him for any reason. His entire existence was dedicated to one incredibly badass mission: Live for Revenge -- Badass of the Week.
What you may have gathered from these is that Justinian II was in no way a lovable human being, but he most definitely deserves his props, if only because if you were foolhardy enough to screw with him, Justinian II would FUCK YOU UP. It wouldn't matter how far you exiled him, how hideously you mutiliated him, or how many assassins you sent after him, he would hunt you down and FUCK YOU UP. All you could hope was that you died of natural causes in the intervening time period, because Justinian II was utterly without mercy, and even IF you died before he could get his hands on you, he'd probably fuck up your wife, your kids, your homies, your college roommate, your neighbors, and anyone else that got in his way. I think we should all appreciate that level of dedication to badassery, and MARVEL BEFORE HIS BEHEMOTH DICK.
