Nazi!spawn threesomes and Cap is a dirty hippie

[transemacabre]

Me and Caia discussing the importance of post-threesome ettiquette, and stoned SHIELD directors muttering songs by Iron Butterfly.


mississippienne (8:20:58 PM): you still owe me a zemo/strucker/red skull fic of some kind
mississippienne (8:21:09 PM): um. not a threesome. just one or the other of those chars
caia_comica: Yeah, that would be a fairly horrifying threesome.
mississippienne: *supresses gag reflex*
caia_comica: Yeah. Not so much with the hot.
caia_comica: (Now Andreas/Helmut/Sin has possibilities.)
mississippienne: so much aryan. so many daddy issues
mississippienne: it'd be worth it for the looks on red skull and baron strucker's faces
caia_comica: And Heinrich can roll over in his grave!
mississippienne (8:24:09 PM): heinrich zemo would be horrified too, if he were alive, but it wouldnt show through the mask anyway
caia_comica (8:24:14 PM): He's pretty good at emoting, though.
caia_comica (8:24:16 PM): He would yell.
mississippienne (8:24:26 PM): and gesticulate
mississippienne (8:24:35 PM): and have some swarthy-skinned slaves whipped
caia_comica (8:24:37 PM): Yes! And blame Cap.
mississippienne (8:24:45 PM): he was ol skool evil like that
caia_comica (8:24:44 PM): Actually, ALL of them would blame Cap.
caia_comica (8:24:52 PM): Except maybe Strucker, who would blame Nick.
mississippienne (8:25:33 PM): then they would get drunk together and have the most horrifying threesome the world has ever seen. that would NEVER BE SPOKEN OF afterwards
caia_comica (8:25:54 PM): No. In fact, one of them would go and FIND A COSMIC CUBE so it can NEVER HAVE HAPPENED.
mississippienne (8:26:35 PM): meanwhile, cap and nick just shake their heads. cap feels bad for sin. nick chomps his cigar and says that at least its not andreas and his sister anymore
caia_comica (8:26:54 PM): Andrea is very unhappy to be left out on the grounds of being dead.
mississippienne (8:27:24 PM): totally. she used to cosplay this very scenario in an exclusive club for deviants some years ago
caia_comica (8:27:50 PM): She TOTALLY did.
caia_comica (8:28:07 PM): She probably is watching the whole thing from, well, presumably hell....
mississippienne (8:28:25 PM): can you imagine the morning after, though? AWKWARD
mississippienne (8:29:00 PM): sin is taking a shower while andreas and zemo awkwardly drink coffee in the kitchen. andreas: "i think i should go." zemo: "yes, you probably should."
caia_comica (8:29:33 PM): And then Sin comes out mostly naked and is all "HEY GUYS THAT WAS FUN. NOW LET'S KILL SOME PEOPLE!"
mississippienne (8:30:17 PM): crossbones knocks at the door. andreas and zemo: holy shit!
caia_comica (8:30:55 PM): Sin: "Hi Brock! Ready to go kill people?"
mississippienne (8:31:48 PM): crossbones looks at them and says, "damn, did i miss all the fun?" zemo tries to make a speech, but cant think of anything. andreas settles for looking slutty
caia_comica (8:33:24 PM): Sin eyes them. "Well, I don't know if they're up for another round just yet." *picks up her guns* "You guys coming or not?"
mississippienne (8:34:58 PM): andreas says something about getting his sword, but climbs out a window and disappears. zemo goes along to prove that he's TOTALLY COOL about what happened, and fails miserably
caia_comica (8:35:51 PM): Sin is very disappointed, but she has Brock. And people to kill.
mississippienne (8:36:06 PM): yes! LOTS and LOTS of people to KILL
caia_comica (8:36:30 PM): So clearly there is no time to waste worrying about TOTALLLY LAME sons of TOTALLY LAME Nazis.
caia_comica (8:36:40 PM): Who aren't even very good at killing people.
mississippienne (8:37:30 PM): yeah. zemo is better at getting killed. that, and falling. andreas' main talent, as far as sin can tell, is an amazing ass and an encyclopedic knowledge of sexual positions
caia_comica (8:38:31 PM): Sin's note to self: Kill Zemo. REPEATEDLY! Capture Andreas and force him to demonstrate positions. Then maybe kill him.
mississippienne (8:39:09 PM): once he has outlived his usefulness. which, considering the vastness of said knowledge, will probably not be for a while

And later...

mississippienne (9:06:33 PM): im sure they all want to forget that episode. kind of like that time sam was a pimp, or cap was a werewolf
caia_comica (9:06:44 PM): Yes, yes. They really do.
mississippienne (9:06:58 PM): they just assume red skull slipped ecstacy into their drinking water and get on with their lives
caia_comica (9:07:16 PM): Hee! The cosmic cube: SEKRITLY a drug trip!
mississippienne (9:07:51 PM): OMG. cap is a hippie!
caia_comica (9:07:53 PM): YES!
mississippienne (9:09:30 PM): pretty soon sam will play bongos while cap and sharon dance around, drenched in the scent of patchouli, while bucky smokes ganja
caia_comica (9:09:57 PM): And then they all have sex.
mississippienne (9:10:36 PM): they're dirty hippies. OF COURSE they have sex
caia_comica (9:10:50 PM): LOTS OF SEX.
caia_comica (9:10:51 PM): ORGIES!
mississippienne (9:11:45 PM): and nick fury stumbling about, muttering "inna godda davida..."

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Comments

[noshootingstars.livejournal.com]

There's something so endearing about the offspring of ubervillian supremacists bonding in various ways. And positions. (But I'm too fond of Zemo to ever wish him alone in a room with Sin.)