transemacabre | Start Spreading the News (Spidey-slash, snippet)

Sequel to A Sadie Hawkins Kinda Dilemma. In New York City, news travels fast...

Tony Stark returned from the men's room, looking dapper and devilishly handsome as ever, to find his date, a graceful blonde named Hallie, giggling girlishly. "What's so funny?" he asked, flashing that famous blinding smile. They had met for a lunch date at a little cafe in Manhattan.

"The table to our right," she whispered. "Look, but don't be too obvious about it. Aren't they cute?"

Sitting a few tables down was Matt Murdock, who was wearing his ubiquitous red shades, and Peter Parker, who's green shirt was half tucked in and half untucked. Tony nearly spit out his drink when Peter leaned across the table and kissed the other man. Coughing as quietly as he could, he tried to conceal his surprise by hiding his face in a napkin. Hallie just giggled again. "They're so adorable!"

***

It took approximately sixteen seconds for someone to find out about Mr. Parker's new boyfriend, and by the next day, every student at the high school not only knew that their science teacher was dating a man, but had somehow found out that his identity was Matt Murdock, the high profile lawyer. This became the hot topic of gossip around the lockers. Peter found himself pelted with paper airplanes that had "Matt (hearts) Peter" written on them.

Sandie Watkins text-messaged her best friend, Nancy Michaels, during a boring lecture in 3rd Period.

Nancy: TMOT mr parkers BF is a hot lawyer QT
Sandie: 404 isnt that guy suposd to be DD?
Nancy: n00b whtvr if he was DD mr parker wld hve 2B spiderman
Sandie: LOL
Nancy: LOL

***

"You know who I hear is gay?" Colleen Wing asked, as she planted her fist into the base of Killer Clown's skull and wrestled him to the floor. "Spider-man."

"Him?" Misty Knight slapped a pair of handcuffs onto Killer Clown's hands and dragged him up. "No way. Iron Fist always said he was straight as an arrow."

"That's the word on the street," Colleen said, shoving a sock into Killer Clown's mouth to shut him up. Bringing in this joker wasn't worth what she was being paid. "You know the spandex set. They're all a little -- " and she waggled her hand from side to side for emphasis. "You know what I mean?"

Misty thought of Otis and Orka. "Yeah."

Killer Clown spit out the sock and said, "You know who I heard rumors about? Moon Knight..."

***

Frank Castle, better known as the blood-soaked vigilante Punisher, snorted and then tossed the tabloid onto a pile of muscle magazines. The title 'SPIDER-MAN AND DAREDEVIL: A COUPLE?' stared up from the cover. "Always knew they were queer," he muttered as he returned to cleaning his gun shaft, preparing for another night of righteous violence.

***

Doctor Strange floated about five feet off his rug, chanting a mystical incantation as all sorts of little magical jujus and hoohoos flew around him. "By the all-seeing Eye of Agamotto, I see...I see... Spider-man is gay."

His faithful servant Wong stood in the doorway, tea in hand. Strange's eyes snapped open. He stroked his chin thoughtfully. "Spider-man... is gay."

***

At PS212, during lunch break, 8th graders Timmy Franklin and Joel Jimenez were arguing over who would win in a fight: Timmy's hero Spider-man, or Joel's favorite, Daredevil?

"I saw Spider-man pick up a car and throw it at Doc Ock," Timmy said confidently. "He's WAY stronger and WAY faster and WAY smarter than Daredevil."

"Nuh uh." Joel shook his head. "Daredevil has, like, radar and sonar and stuff. He could come up on Spidey in the dark and bam! that's all she wrote."

"Dude," Timmy said through a mouthful of peas, "all Daredevil's special senses would be able to tell him was how bad Spidey was kicking his butt."

"Nuh uh!"

"Uh huh!"

"Whatever," said their classmate Tanya Greiber, not even bothering to look up from her fruit salad. "Last night I saw Spider-man and Daredevil kissing each other on a rooftop over on 52nd Street. I don't think they're gonna start fighting..."

Timmy and Joel both stared at her in shock.

"No way!"

***

As Matt walked through the door, he caught the tail-end of the conversation Peter was having on the phone. He paused for a moment, listening.

"Yeah, Johnny, talk to you later," Peter said, just before he hung up. He flopped down on the couch and sighed heavily. When Matt entered the room, he laughed and said, "You know, it's so weird. The last few days, the phone has been ringing off the hook. Johnny Storm, Danny Rand, Miguel Santos, Phil Urich, three guys from the X-Men, even Electro... On Thursday I couldn't get a date to save my life, and it's not even Tuesday yet and I've had fifteen calls!" He wasn't sure where they were getting his number, but he suspected that Doctor Strange was somehow involved.

Matt sat down beside him on the couch, and Peter put his head on his shoulder, in that sweet oh-so-trusting way Peter had. "I'm glad I'm here with you, though," Peter said. "You up for staying in tonight?"

Matt grinned. "Always."