The difficulties of slashing Cap and Zemo

[transemacabre]

So everyone knows I'm a big Zemo fangirl. Everyone also knows I'm a slasher. So why do the two so rarely meet? Aside from that one silly-fic starring Fixer as a car? It's because I find it almost impossible to slash Zemo.

Take Captain America, for example. Putting aside all the joking around, it's hard to slash him with Zemo. Not because there isn't subtext, because there's plenty, but C'MON. It's such an obviously Bad Idea that there's no way Cap would go for it. There's just too much history between them. Unless I become completely shameless like my DC peeps and sex pollen the hell out of them, there are only two options for slashing Cap/Zemo:

1. Cap and Zemo happen to visit the same Japanese bathhouse, and Zemo strolls around naked until he slips on a banana peel and lands atop a conveniently-also-naked Cap who also happens to be laying on the floor. Sex ensues.

2. A War and Peace-length epic fic totalling many thousands of words, in which Cap and Zemo have to work together, slowly begin to trust one another, even more slowly become friends, culminating in them having a 15-chapter long discussion in which they work out all their psychological problems. Sex ensues.

I don't know that I'm up for writing a Russian novel, and the banana peel idea, while amusing, is almost as silly as sex pollen. So I'll stick to Zemo and Fixer romping around in the DCverse for now. ;)

Comments

[caiusmajor.livejournal.com]

You could always write us some nice Zemo/Fixer.

Or just Zemo subtexting vaguely creepily about Cap. That's always fun--and it's less terrifying than when Red Skull does it.