Note to flist: personal issues

[transemacabre]

I have just defriended a person that was on my flist for reasons that I would like to discuss more fully with all of you. This person, whom I friended because we had fannish interests in common, posted about their self-injury. This sort of thing has reached the breaking point with me. I am here for fannish enjoyment. I am not your counselor, I am not responsible for your well-being, and I am not going to sit here and have to look at post after post about y'all cutting, starving, drugging, or otherwise harming yourselves.

If you wish to post about such things, then you are welcome to do so in your own lj which is defriended from mine. I am tired of this drama and I simply am not going to put up with it anymore. I have personal problems of my own but I do not post them here for the public or my friends to see. If I have to be a bitch to protect myself from the pain you are causing yourself and others, then so be it. This lj is a very special happy space for me; this is where I go to play and relax and laugh. Do not take a dump in my goddamned sandbox.

Comments

[redcandle17.livejournal.com]

Totally understandable. I defriended someone a while ago for the same reason. I was depressed as hell myself at the time and reading her daily posts about refusing to see her therapist and cutting herself just...was not something I needed. I'm totally willing to be emotionally supportive but there's only so much I can take/give.

[transemacabre.livejournal.com]

My general rule is, if someone asks for advice, I'll try twice to give it to them or counsel them as best I can. If I see that they really aren't taking any steps to better their situation, that's it, I'm done. I'm not interested in telling you what you want to hear. Either fix or learn to live with it, I don't fucking care which.

[silverwhistle.livejournal.com]

That is, of course, assuming you are the fount of all wisdom and worldly advice… ;-D

[transemacabre.livejournal.com]

LOL. Well, if you talk about a problem in a public place, such as your lj, or bring it up with me on AIM, I can only assume you are soliciting help. That I don't mind giving. But I don't much like just soothing someone's nerves over and over again. That's one of the reasons I don't post about my own personal problems here; if I need advice, I'll ask through AIM or email.

[silverwhistle.livejournal.com]

It's not something I can really understand psychologically. I've been in low spirits sometimes myself, but have worked through it. And although it does nothing for me personally, I can understand why, for some people, the pain/pleasure thing might work on an s/m level, but I just can't get my head around this kind of self-harm. It's like religious self-mortification: I just can't see why anyone would believe they were so bad they had to punish themselves.

[transemacabre.livejournal.com]

Unless I'm actually having sex with you, I don't want to know anything about your psychosexual issues. There's a reason you're supposed to warn for kinks like BDSM and breathplay and anorexia and the like in fics -- because it grosses a lot of people out. If people could apply the same level of consideration to their internet personas that they do to their fanfics, teh intarwebs would be a much nicer place.

[elspethdixon.livejournal.com]

There are people who considered anorexia a kink? That's just all kinds of disturbing (and I say this as someone with some degree of experience with eating disorders).

[silverwhistle.livejournal.com]

Exactly! I know that people like that exist – so to that extent I can acknowledge why some might do weird stuff to themselves – but to have someone spilling their soul about it in a non-fiction way is… as you say, gross.