transemacabre | Hetalia WTF?

So I was browsing the

hetalia_kink meme, and what do I find but jaw-dropping little gem. Allow me to quote it in its entirety:

Okay, recently I found that a good number of states were going to secede or gain sovereignty depending on the outcome of the health bill (request is not about that - by the way) so that made me think of this.

I'd like to see the Southern states breaking away from the Union and America not wanting to let them go, but doesn't want a war over it (as legally, the states are in their rights to secede according to the 10th Amendment).

More specifically I'd like to see the following states (for genders):
- Male Texas
- Fem!Louisiana
- Male Mississippi
- Male or Female Alabama (doesn't matter to me)
- And Male or Female Florida.

Those are the states Anon really wants to see, but feel free to add more states.
I'm also a Texas!Anon so, yeah, much love for Texas-kun.

Bonus:
- America gives Texas his glasses (back?)
- Union/Northern states are divided (as in, some want the southern states gone while others believe losing them would be harmful to the country).
- America considers them all his 'children' and that's the reason (or part of the reason) why he doesn't want to let them go.
- America getting "advice" from the states other "parents" (ex: Texas had Spain, France, and Mexico as three of the six flags of Texas - therefore they are his parents)
- Southern accents for all the southern states except Florida (as they are the only southern state to speak with a general American accent)
- The Southern states get their own Nation-tan (Confederacy-kun?)

Anon can make the reason for this whatever they want (except the health bill because I'm tired of that), you can make it in the future - so long as it's after the Civil War.

I'd like angst please as well.

I know I'm picky, but I'll love you for life if this is done!

Okay, putting aside the fact that the Supreme Court ruled back in 1869 that states DO NOT have the right to secede from the Union (except through "consent of the States")... a Neo-Confederacy? Really? REALLY? Is that really the first thing you think would happen? The Southern states secede and of course they automatically form a new Confederacy, because it worked so well for them the first time what with the mass graves and Reconstruction and all. I'm half-surprised the prompt didn't include a request for a chapter in which the Neo-Confederates enslave all the black people.

'But Mipp', I hear you say, 'this is Hetalia fandom. This is hardly the most offensive or inaccurate thing ever requested on this kink meme. What justifies you getting butthurt over this?'

You know what, fuck it, my feelings are valid and I'll get butthurt over this just like Russians and Canadians and probably Sealanders get butthurt over stupidity in Hetalia fandom. This prompt is insulting to me as both a Southerner and a rational human being. The kink meme has instituted a 'no wanking' policy, so I'll refrain from bitching there, and keep my feelings to my own lj.