Wrassler Thoughts

[transemacabre]

So for my birthday/Christmas, one of my gentleman admirers got me Jimmy Jacobs DVDs, because the way to a girl's heart is paved with pint-sized emo wrestlers.



I was joking with him that we should just book Jimmy himself for my next birthday. I mean, how much can he possibly charge just to show up and eat cake with me?

Also, WTF is with all the starry-eyed fangirls on Tumblr being like, "Oh, I bet in real life Dean Ambrose is really shy" and thinking he doesn't/never smoked, and choosing to believe the comments about him partying hard on the regular and banging girls are just works or jokes -- look, I don't know the guy, but I know guys, okay, and GURLS y'all are fooling your damn selves. Also, why the fuck are you all up on the dick of a dirty, rough, take-you-home-and-fuck-you-twice guy, while trying to pretend he's probably really Mr. Nice Guy? Be honest with yourself. He's dirty and rough and that turns you on.

BTW, thanks to em25, I now have a new wrassler obsession, and it's PWG's Super Dragon. Basically Super Dragon curb stomps people's faces, wears an awesome mask, and never gives a fuck about anyone or anything, ever. I can respect that. Here's a video about the Super Dragon in his natural habitat, which is him being the baddest motherfucker on the planet every minute of the day.

I think I will have to find some excuse to get my boyfriend to wear a Super Dragon mask in bed, just once. Is that SO WRONG?! Maybe I can get him to paint it on if I don't tell him why.

Comments

[em25.livejournal.com]

*victory arms*

You should totally tell your boyfriend why you want him to wear the mask. If it pisses him off, it'll just add to the realism. Have you seen the match with four Super Dragons? Great stuff. It's a bit like Russian roulette though, because one of those Super Dragons is Joey Ryan.

On that fangirl thing, because I am old, I can remember when hordes of fangirls convinced themselves Matt Hardy was still a virgin. At least they've all fucked off to tumblr these days.

Jimmy would probably come to your birthday for free if you told him you liked him better than Alex Shelley - but would you really want some creepy little emotard crying in your cake? I'd go for Topgun Talwar. You'd wake up in Mexico with a dead hooker, but you'd have one hell of a party.

[transemacabre.livejournal.com]

I wonder if I can get my friend Ayumi to sew an imitation Super Dragon mask for me. Hmmmmm.

Super Dragon's body language is fucking hot and dominant. Plus, he's hilarious. I have not seen the Super Dragon Fourway (unf! sexy!) but I will have to, because I also like Joey Ryan. The virgins on Tumblr make me feel all worldly and shit, I guess its because they're 13 and in denial that their dream men aren't pure as the driven snow.

Jimmy would probably come to your birthday for free if you told him you liked him better than Alex Shelley - but would you really want some creepy little emotard crying in your cake? I'd go for Topgun Talwar. You'd wake up in Mexico with a dead hooker, but you'd have one hell of a party.

You don't understand Jimmy Jacobs like I do -- I too am a bloodthirsty emo hate machine. We have so much to cry into cake about. Anyway, I'm from New Orleans, and in New Orleans waking up next to a dead stripper is a rite of passage, like getting your driver's permit, or your first trip to the VD clinic.

[em25.livejournal.com]

You can buy them, but they're a bit hard to get your hands on these days.

His body language turns me to goo. And have you seen how long his fingers are? Holy cow. Are you happy downloading matches off the net? Because I can put it up for you if you like. It's quite weird to see Shelley in a match in which he is not the biggest dickhead (I say this with nothing but love, of course). I like Joey too - I can't believe he's done so little work for the big companies, because he's got money written all over him - but I do have to watch him through my fingers!

You'd be amazed how many of the girls who woobify wrestlers are fully grown women in their 30s and 40s. Scary! But hey, as insane as I think it is, as long as everyone's having a good time, they must be doing fandom right. I'll just do fandom separately from them, I think!

Man, I wish I didn't understand Jimmy Jacobs. Aw, I'm from Cardiff - plenty of casual sex and accidental orgies, but not so much in the way of dead strippers.

[transemacabre.livejournal.com]

Hells yeah I will dl the matches, and then go to a PWG show whenever I next get to Cali, or suck Super Dragon's dick, or whatever else I need to do to make it up to him so he won't slap me for illegally downloading his shit.

I'm not sure how one has accidental orgies. Unless two people are going at it downstairs, two are going at it upstairs, and then the roof caves in and they fall on the downstairs couple and everyone decides, "Oh well, fuck it." New Orleans is vice city, and you can certainly find an orgy there, but I would advise against it. At the very least you'll get your wallet stolen while orgying it up.

[em25.livejournal.com]

http://ul.to/u9ose7s6

277MB, sorry about the wmv! It's better quality than you'd expect though. I'd apologise for my rampant piracy, but I never would have bought so much indy stuff if I hadn't downloaded so much too, so it all works out. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it. Though I'd be kind of okay with Dragon slapping me.

I'm not sure how one has accidental orgies.

It's surprisingly easy. Uh, I've heard. Cardiff's not really a vice city, it's just very, very friendly.

[quixotic.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I REALLY don't the whole "awww! Dean's really just a sweetie!" thing. If you wanna crush on some sweet, shy, romantic dude, there are a billion better options. It would be one thing if it was more of the "taming the wild beast" sort of fantasy -- I could understand going for him on that one, even though I've never enjoyed that fantasy. But wanting to believe that he's just a big ole softy who sits at home, I don't know, watching The Notebook and pining for Renee Young, that just makes no sense to me.

That said, I could see him being awkward and weird in real life and sitting around at home watching old wrestling tapes and being twitchy for a while before calling a hooker at 3am. But definitely not sweet. Haha.

[transemacabre.livejournal.com]

I really think it came about because a lot of people are very uncomfortable with what turns them on. Dean does it for them but they don't know how to cope with how intimidating those feelings/impulses are, so they try to convince themselves that he's "probably really shy, sweet, innocent", whatever. By his own admission we know Dean hooks up, parties, formerly did drugs/cigarettes, etc. But his fangirls come up with this concept of him that they can feel okay with being attracted to, a concept that seems at odds with what we know about the guy.

Look, don't get me wrong. If he fell madly in love with Renee Young (or whoever) and they had 50 babies together, I'll be happy for him because he's happy. But I don't think its good to be so in denial about who a person is or how they act when they openly own up to it and are up front about it. I'm like, GURL you are setting yourself up for a heartbreak.

[quixotic.livejournal.com]

It must be. I get the impression that for a lot of people who find themselves afflicted, getting a thing for Dean Ambrose is kind of a weird journey of self discovery, and people tend to get into a bit of denial about what they're learning. Don't know if you've ever had this happen to you in writing about him -- but more than once I've had someone write to me swearing up and down that they had absolutely no interest in anything remotely kinky until they read my fan fiction and now all of a sudden all of this weird stuff is turning them on and my fic did it to them. Which is a load of crap, of course. If they really had no interest in that sort of thing they wouldn't have read the story considering the description.

Also, I think people thinking he's just going to be all sweet and innocent in Vegas is further made.. I don't know, hard to believe.. by the fact that he LIVES in Vegas (at least for the one day a week or so he lives anywhere). If you weren't from Vegas and had no connection to Vegas, why would you move there unless you enjoyed the kind of partying and/or general weirdness Vegas has to offer? I mean, unless he's working on some kind of campy sideshow act in his free time. Which, granted, I have a whole headcanon about, but still.

[transemacabre.livejournal.com]

The only other reasons anyone lives in Vegas is either they're a Mormon (doubt it) or in the military (nope). Case closed.

[retroginger.livejournal.com]

I've seen clips of Dean meeting fans and he is sweet - as he should be in that situation- but somehow that has morphed into him being innocent in all aspects of his life. Which isn't the same thing at all.

I could see him being awkward and weird in real life . . .

I agree with this assessment:)

[retroginger.livejournal.com]

If you find out how much Jimmy charges for birthday parties let me know. He's not that far of a drive from me so maybe I can get a discount;)

I've seen that on tumblr too. The "starry eyed fangirls" version of Dean sounds really boring.

You have to watch out for em25 she's good at fueling obsessions;)

[em25.livejournal.com]

Who, me?

[retroginger.livejournal.com]

Yes, you:P I never even gave Sabin a second look until I started talking to you.

[em25.livejournal.com]

You are mad.



I'm just saying.

[retroginger.livejournal.com]

Yeah, well, okay, I can't deny that pic now, but before in my mind he was always the guy with bad hair and dorky alien trunks blocking my view of Shelley.

[em25.livejournal.com]

Wait a minute, of the two of them, Sabin was the one with the bad hair and stupid gear? Do I even need to mention those awful shorts with the uneven legs? Also, Super Dragon says aliens are cool, and that Sabin's gear is one of the things he likes most about him, along with his Led Zeppelin t-shirt and cock and balls. And Super Dragon's always right.

The thing about Shelley is, even when you can't see him, you can still hear the little fucker shooting his mouth off. It's one of my favourite things about him.

[retroginger.livejournal.com]

Sabin was the one with the bad hair and stupid gear?

That's my memory of it:P

Alex's tights were unique and ahead of his time. Maybe Super Dragon liked the cock and balls behind the alien trunks more than the stupid alien. And Sabin's frosted blond dye job (I'm not sure what to call it) was awful.

Mine too.

[em25.livejournal.com]

Alex's tights were unique and ahead of his time.

They were stupid and you know it. I concur with your assessment of what Dragon liked about Sabin's trunks, mainly because it's what I liked about them too. I always thought the alien was kind of dumb, but those yellow ones really showcased his nuts beautifully. That hairstyle was terrible, but with Sabin at that point, did anyone ever look above his waist anyway?

[transemacabre.livejournal.com]

Maybe we can celebrate a joint birthday and go halfsies on Jimmy?

I've seen that on tumblr too. The "starry eyed fangirls" version of Dean sounds really boring.

I think the thing that made me boggle was when the Shield did an interview recently and Seth and Roman were ribbing Dean about partying in Las Vegas. And Tumblrinas were saying "LOL they're being ironic because Dean's probably too shy to go buck-wild in Vegas" and I'm like WHUT. He's a 28-year-old single guy who lives on the road, by his own admission likes to drink, party, and hook up, and you think he spent his trip to Vegas sitting in his fucking hotel room drinking club soda and channel-surfing? You REALLY think that? WHUT?!