This is true, this is real, this is Straight Edge

There's a discussion on CBR about whether or not MU Hercules does or should have the same sexuality as his mythological counterpart.

Sunlitspire: I was reading Incredible Hercules the other day and it stuck me how much of his sexual history has been ignored in the past.

Hercules in the greek myths is, like alot of the greek gods bisexual and throughout the myths has a massive number of male lovers (Iolaus, Nestor, Hylas and Admetus to name a few).

Now I understand that in the past certain attutudes to sexual orientation may have prevented Marvel from touching on this matter. Also understanding Greek attitudes to gay sex, I can't state how much I don't want this to involve Amadeus Cho.

But come on Marvel we are living in an age where gay and bisexual people are gaining greater acceptance, so it wouldn't hurt too much to touch upon that aspect of Herc.

Given that Greg Pak and Fred Van Lante are showing alot of Herc's back history, I do hope that we might find that he isn't the straightest God in the heavens.

...

Part of the reason I started this thread came down to me watching 300 and realising how much gay history has been white washed. It may not be the most important part of mythology, but as a gay person it is important to me (heck I wouldn't mind if Ares turned out to be bi and herc was kept straight).

Me: LOL, actually that'd be pretty awesome. Maybe that's how Herc got his rep all those centuries ago. Like there's a flashback to an ancient Greek palace and we see Ares getting dressed while some sloe-eyed young prince lays in bed.

PRINCE: C'mon, you can stay the night. Please? When can I see you again?
ARES: Uh, I'll get back to you.
PRINCE: Can't you at least tell me your name?
ARES: *shifty-eyes* I'm.... Hercules.
PRINCE: *gasps* Really?!
ARES: Sure, kid. Whatever.

A while ago, someone on my flist did a voice post of a Daredevil issue, which turned out quite hilarious. I figure, if I'm gonna rip-off, might as well rip-off the best. So here's my interpretation of two pages of UXM #341, the Christmas issue where Cannonball fights Gladiator while Rogue and Joseph ride in a floating horse carriage.

I would also like to point out that this may be the first time Rogue has ever been voiced by a native Mississippian.

So it looks like Marvel's doing their level best to retcon the Peter/MJ marriage as of Brand New Day. But we all know our emo boy isn't going to stay a swinging single for long. So who should Peter Parker marry now?

[Poll #1075949]

Because, whoa, I can't believe no one ever did one before, and Glowstick Chick, who created the DC version, gave permission for it to be modified -- The Marvelverse Random Pairing Crack Generator.

My first result was Thanos/Nick Fury. WTF.

Warren Ellis/Anal Skrulls

Brian Bendis/Emo Porn (called by elspethdixon)

Fabian Nicieza/Canon Slash

Frank Miller/NinjaswhoreswhoreswhoresninjasSPAAAARTAwhoreswhores

Peter David/scans_daily (called by flidgetjerome)

Mark Millar/Bad Characterization (called by elspethdixon)

elspethdixon posted an excellent rundown of what she loves about Marvel fandom, and I felt the need to add a few things to it. So, including everything on elspeth's list, here's my addendum:

Moral ambiguity, Sentry and Void's kiss and the general wrongness of it all, Baron Zemo and his pink (no, magenta) mask, Fixer/porn OTP, Kingpin's love for Vanessa, Echo's white handprint across her face, Thunderbolts, Daredevil's sexy Catholicism, Moon Knight's sexy Judaism, Ronan the Accuser's pure sex, busting shit the fuck up, how no one's sure if Andrea and Andreas loved each other or love loved each other, Super-Skrull's pimp attitude, nazis made of bees, Typhoid Mary's ripped fishnets, Squirrel Girl is the most competent superheroine ever, how Cap is never blase about human life, Cassie Lang being catnip for villains, Genis and alt!Mar-Vell hugging, Andreas being an uke, Zemo and Fixer's OTP or at the least BFF, Namor and his fetish for hot surfacer blonds, Daredevil and Bullseye switching costumes, daddy issue galore, Thanos destroying and killing for love, Cable having the most complicated backstory ever, Hyperion and Doc Spectrum's BDSM subtext, thigh-high boots, Joystick flirting with everything on two legs, Spidey raiding Daredevil's fridge, the creepy and cool Thin Man, All Kree Are Hot.

As we all know, the adorably doe-eyed Tobey Maguire played Peter Parker in the Spider-Man movies. The troubled but equally doe-eyed Robert Downey Jr. is set to play Tony Stark in the upcoming Iron Man movie. This delights and amuses me for a number of reasons, not the least of them being that Downey and Maguire already co-starred together in a movie called Wonder Boys. Where they play lovers.

The stars have aligned. The fates have decreed it be so. Peter/Tony is definitely the OTP of emotionally-unhealthy-and-wrong-and-yet-so-right.

This is more of a little fantasy than anything that I plan to put into action, but I have this wish that, one day, I'll get to stall a wedding.

For some reason, I don't know why, it'll be life-or-death that I have to stall someone's wedding. I've already got it planned out. I'll burst in just as the priest is about to start the vows. "STOP!" I'll scream, running into the aisle. "He can't marry her! Because... he's in love with me!"

Everyone will gasp. An old lady will faint. The groom will look at me in confusion, since of course he's never seen me before. "I don't even know this woman!" he'll protest as the bride slaps him. Finally, someone will signal an usher to drag me out. As I'm being dragged through the doors, I'll yell back over the din, "I'm carrying your child, you bastard!!"

Anyone on the flist have an odd little desire like this one they'd like to share?

Co-written with remix17. It's humor, people! We mean it with love! Really!
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Inspired by the Harry Potter fanfics no one wants to see, remix17 and I came up with some Thunderbolts fanfics that should never, ever be written!
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